I am afraid to ride my horse?

I have wanted a horse since I was 7, now at 47 I finally have one! My husband bought it for my birthday and we board it at a barn. The first time I rode her I got right on and took off, it was a lot scarier than 20 yrs ago but I still enjoyed it. When I went to get off I fell not totally from the horse but from the stirrup to the ground on dismount. I have a torn rotator cuff and landed on it, the pain was horrible, like nothing I can ever explain! Now I am afraid to get back on for fear of falling again. I got a scaffold to help me mount but someone still has to hold the horse for me and I feel like I am about to have a panic attack before I mount. The whole time I am on I have the fear of how I will get back off. So I do a lot of ground work and longeing and not much riding. The horse is a little less broke than we were told when we bought her too. My husband is mad and yelling telling me I am an embarment to him and barn people are laughing at me. How do I overcome?